


You're supposed to be dead!

by MiaVivisol



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy - Cassandra Clare, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Attempted humor that turned into angst, Don't worry though, Fashion Designer Magnus Bane, I don't know, I'm a terrible person, Jace is there for the express and probably necessary purpose of easing the tension, M/M, Mafia AU, Tech Guy Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-07-20 08:12:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16133234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiaVivisol/pseuds/MiaVivisol
Summary: Based on prompt: "Of course I'm mad, you ate all my cereal and made everyone think you were dead for two years!""I see you bought the handcuffs we talked about," he teased, never taking his eyes away, looking at Magnus, hunger in his eyes.Magnus jumped off the counter and sat on the chair next to him. "Yes, I did," he bit out. "Ask me when.""When?""On the day you died."





	You're supposed to be dead!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [all y'all](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=all+y%27all).



> Quick warning: there's a brief description of a panic attack. Since I was drawing on two of my own experiences, reading through it made me really uncomfortable. That shouldn't have happened. I couldn't bring myself to change it, though. So just be careful, okay?

Magnus was scared.

He had woken up to the sound of someone talking in his living room, and since he lived alone, that wasn't good.

Nobody had the keys to his apartment, and he lived on the seventeenth floor with all his windows shut. There was no reason to break into his home when there were so many easier targets- unless someone specifically wanted to get to him.

The morning sun shone through the glass, lighting up the room. Magnus paused with his cane behind his back, trying to see what he was heading into.

He looked around, surprised when he couldn't see anyone. Then the voice spoke again- from under his kitchen table. Magnus glanced over the countertop cautiously, his bare feet quiet on the cool tile.

The box of his favourite Froot Loops lay sideways on the table, clearly empty. Magnus spared a brief moment of irritation towards the intruder for making him go on another unwanted grocery run. Two long legs extended from under the table, half bent and covered in dusty blue jeans that looked like they hadn't been changed in a week. The feet wore a pair of black socks, and _wait a minute I know that voice..._

"Okay, I cut the blue wire, what now?" the voice asked lowly. Magnus realised he was talking on a phone. He slowly walked out to stand next to the table, thanking Catarina for her poor sense of style and love of floor-length tablecloths.

"Right. Thanks, Simon. Owe you. Later," the voice said. Magnus felt a cold chill over his whole body as he realised who the voice belonged to. The person was clambering out from under the table. He barely had time to widen his eyes in surprise before Magnus slammed the cane into his head.

Nobody had the keys to his apartment. _Except Alexander._

***

Alec felt a searing pain in his head the second he came to. He moaned softly and made to bring his hands to his face, only to realise he couldn't move them. Or his legs. He immediately stiffened, slowly opening his eyes, recognising Magnus' kitchen. His head still hurt as he slowly remembered everything that had brought him here, then relaxed when he realised there was no threat.

"You're awake?" he heard Magnus ask, turning his head sharply and regretting it immediately.

"If you're not a dream," he replied, smiling half-heartedly up at Magnus. "I see you bought the handcuffs we talked about," he teased, never taking his eyes away, looking at Magnus, hunger in his eyes..

Magnus jumped off the counter and sat on the chair next to him. "Yes, I did," he bit out. "Ask me when."

"When?"

"On the day you died."

Alec winced again, this time not from the pain. "Oh."

"Yes, oh. Care to explain?"

"Okay, just please don't be mad--"

" _Of course I'm mad!_ You ate all my cereal and made everyone think you were dead for _two years!_ What am I supposed to do? Put on some music and do the mamba?"

"Magnus-"

"I was so... broken! Alec, I almost threw myself off my balcony. When they didn't find your body I let myself hope, but-"

"Magnus, wait," Alec said, his voice trembling imperceptibly. "I had to."

"What do you mean, you had to? What is this, some shitty movie where-"

"I'm hurting too, Magnus!" Alec yelled finally. Magnus shut up, stunned. "Do you know, every single day where I spent away from you, dreading a call that would tell me they shot you, you're dead, I have nothing to go back to..."

He took a shuddering breath. "I have almost died twenty-seven times in the past two years, and you've been the only thing keeping me alive. Please don't leave me too.. please..." Tears rolled down his cheeks and he looked away gruffly, sniffing.

Half a minute passed before Alec felt Magnus wrap his arms around him, his tether in pain. Magnus was saying something, but Alec couldn't focus, couldn't concentrate on the words.

"I think you gave me a concussion," he managed to say before passing out again.

***

"He's pretty alive for a dead guy, I'd say," Catarina told Magnus, acid in her voice. "I still think you should-"

"No, please don't, Cat," Magnus said, squeezing the unconscious Alec's hand. "I'm serious, he said something about people shooting me and stuff. This might be deeper than we think."

"He wasn't there when you were mourning his death, Magnus, I was. You were broken. And if he hurts you again-"

"He won't," Magnus says, pointedly looking at the handcuffs. "I'm not letting him go."

Alec winced and groaned, the same way he had the first time he woke up. Magnus quickly let go of his hand and stepped away from the bed. Alec blinked his eyes open blearily and winced at the lights, and Magnus resisted the urge to turn them off. He deserved to be petty, sue him.

Alec focused on him, squinting. He seemed not to have noticed Catarina's presence. He tested his hands and found them cuffed again, and grinned up lazily at Magnus. "Looks like you got me in bed," he said, blinking slowly and slurring a bit.

"Not a concussion, but I'd guess a little shock," Catarina said. Alec sharply turned his head toward her and moaned in discomfort. "Seriously, Magnus, how hard did you hit him?"

Magnus ignored her in favour of glaring at Alec, who had the decency to look just a little ashamed. "I did leave the letter," he protested weakly, flushing.

"What letter?"

Alec raised his eyes and furrowed his brows. "Did you not get the letter?"

"The hell are you talking about, Alec? All i know is that one second I'm buying groceries and the next, I get a call telling me you're dead."

"I'm going to leave now," Catarina said, glancing at her watch.

"Oh my god, Magnus. You never got the letter," Alec said, a look of realisation and horror climbing his face as he pulled himself upright by the chains, then yelled in discomfort.

"Looks like I didn't need to use the handcuffs after all," Magnus observed. The main door banged after Catarina.

"Please, Magnus, I need to go. I'll be right back, I just have to tell him to give me the letter..."

"Alec, whatever is in that letter, you can tell me. I'm not letting you out."

Alec deflated, and Magnus sat down next to him. Their arms rested against each other, and Magnus' body screamed for more.

"Everything was in the letter," Alec said. "Everything, from when I was born to what led me here. I can't talk about it."

"Oh," Magnus said, remembering all the times he asked Alec about his past, and he responded either with a flirty quip or a direct change of topic. "Why can't you talk about it?"

"It's too much," Alec said wearily. "Even writing it down, I went through five whole bottles of vodka. I just can't, Magnus. Please don't ask me to."

"I won't. But who has the letter then?"

"Jace. Magnus, please let me go. I promise, I'll be right back. I just need to get the letter. Please, I love you."

"I love you too," Magnus responded, not needing to think about it, "which is why I cannot let you go. You are not fit to stand up, no way you're going all the way to Jace's place."

"And whose fault is that?" Alec asked, then sighed. "I don't blame you, though. If you haven't read the letter, I probably deserved that."

Magnus heard a faint clink, the sound of Alec moving his wrists around the handcuffs. "Alec, what did you mean by people wanting to shoot me? Did you do something illegal?"

"Letter," Alec reminded him.

"We'll go get it later. Okay, where have you been the last year?"

"Letter," Alec said, and this time he sounded a little smug.

Magnus took a deep breath and tried again. "Alec, come on. Okay, who's this Simon guy?"

"Letter," he said again, and this time there was most definitely amusement in his voice.

"Okay, get the fuck up."

***

Jace stepped off the treadmill, hand already reaching for the towel to wipe off his hair. The other hand groped blindly for his phone, turning off the music. He walked to the wall and pressed the intercom button.

"Yeah?" he said, absentmindedly wrapping the towel around his shoulders.

"Jace, it's me. Open the door," Alec's voice sounded tinny. And a bit tense.

"You okay, Alec? You sound a bit off."

"I'm okay. It's safe. Open the damn door."

"Gimme the code?"

"Jace-"

"The code, Alec."

"Hawaii, now will you open the fucking door?"

"Gotcha. Come on in," Jace said, pressing the button.

He stretched and tossed the towel in the laundry basket, putting on a shirt. The main bell rang just as soon as he reached it.

"I'm guessing it didn't go so well with Magnus, huh?" he asked, grinning, as he opened the door. "I'd have thought you'd be getting him off for-. What the fuck is that on your hand?"

Alec, looking very tired, raised his hand. Something very pink and fluffy stretched out from his wrist to another, very familiar wrist. Attached to a very pissed person.

"You brought Magnus," he stated.

"No," Alec said. "Magnus brought me."

***

"But you didn't disappear," Jace pointed out. "You said to send it if you disappeared."

"Jace, what the fuck? I was literally in hiding!"

Jace stood up. "I knew where you were!"

"And you knew to keep it a secret. You knew to tell everyone I was dead. What the hell did you think 'disappeared' meant?" Alec leant back against Magnus, who was looking at the whole thing as if he wasn't sure whether to be angry, scared or confused.

"Died," Jace said. "I thought you meant if you actually died."

There was a moment of silence.

"Just get the letter now, please," Alec said, running his free hand over his face.

"Okay, yeah. But why the hell are you both handcuffed together?"

"Because you aren't getting the damn letter."

"I'll be right back."

Alec sighed in exasperation when Jace left. "I'm sorry, Magnus. I should probably have given it to someone else with a bit more common sense. We'd probably be doing something else right now," he said, glancing ruefully at the handcuffs.

"I'm very confused, Alec. Please don't talk to me right now."

"Okay. Just- can you unlock these while you read? I haven't slept in four days and I'm pretty much sure I'm just running on adrenaline right now."

"No, just wait, you know I'm a fast reader. And I don't trust you not to run away again."

"Ouch," Alec mumbled. "You're going to keep me awake until you finish reading?"

"Come on, it's just a letter. How long will it-"

Jace walked in, carrying a large, messy pile of hardcover notebooks. He dumped them on the coffee table.

"Uh, I think volume one is somewhere near the bottom. Didn't have the time to sort it. Feel free to raid my fridge if you get hungry. I have an appointment, be back around 10. See you later," Jace said, walking back inside.

Magnus stared at Alec. "You said it was a letter. Not a novel series."

"This is a letter. What did you think, I'd take half a sheet of paper to write my life story? And that I'd drink five bottles of vodka in the process?"

Magnus silently pulled out the key from his pocket and unlocked the handcuffs.

"Finally," Alec breathed, and then he was in Magnus' lap, kissing him senseless.

***

Alec awoke four times.

The first time, they were both on the loveseat, Alec's head in Magnus' lap. Magnus was deeply engrossed in the second book with the red cover, forehead creased, absentmindedly fiddling with Alec's hair. The late evening sun cast a golden light over the room, making everything heartbreakingly beautiful. Alec shifted closer to the hand in his hair, and Magnus looked at him. "Go back to sleep," he said, and kissed his cheek. So Alec did.

The second time Alec woke, he was in Jace's guest room bed. It was comfortably cool, and the lights were just bright enough to read by.

Magnus was reading the third book, the one with the blue cover and the worst people. It was the last memory of Max he had. Alec swallowed back the lump in his throat at the sound of a soft sniffle, as Magnus raised a hand to his face to wipe a stray tear.

It was too much to bear. So he turned over and went back to sleep.

The third time Alec woke, it was to the sound of whispers.

"Let him sleep, he's been awake too long..."

"He might want to eat something, he can sleep again right after..."

"Come on, Magnus, we'll wake him when you're done reading..."

"Wait, Jace, I think he's awake. Let's go outside..."

He didn't want to get up. So he slept.

The fourth time Alec woke, it was sweating and gasping.

There was nobody else in the room.

Pitch dark, all around him, closing in on him.

Was that the glint of a knife he saw out of the corner of his eye?

He turned his head sharply. Still darkness.

His breathing- he was breathing, gasping, but no air was enough. He felt tears streaming down his face, but there was no time to wipe them, he couldn't breath, couldn't breath, couldn't breath-

The light switched on, and there were quick footsteps, and two heavy hands squeezed his shoulder.

"Breath with me, Alec," they said, warm and familiar and comforting. So he did. In and wait and out; four, seven and eight...

"M-m-magnus," he gasped through the paced breaths.

The hands left his shoulders, and he squeezed his eyes shut. Then another pair replaced them, slipping around his neck.

"Keep breathing, Alexander," he said, squeezing his shoulders to the sound of Jace counting slowly. By the third time, he could breath by himself, and halfway through the fourth, he pulled away, opening his eyes, the tears still blurring his sight, but no longer unstoppable.

"Sorry," he murmured, ashamed. "I'm sorry. I... Thanks. You can.. you can go back to bed now," he said, turning away. Magnus grabbed his hand.

"Not yet, darling," he murmured, getting up and walking to the other side of the bed. "I was reading, but I can always continue tomorrow. Besides, there's no way I'm going to finish seven books in a day. Four is enough for one day, I think it's time for bed now."

Jace nodded his agreement, and after giving both of them a clinical glance, walked out yawning.

"Can I turn off the lights, Alexander?" Magnus asked. "Or do you want them on?"

"Uh..." 

"I'll leave them on."

Alec started to get up. "I... I'll be right back."

Magnus was by his side in a second, concerned eyes boring into him. "What's wrong?"

"I just have to wash my face, Magnus. And drink some water. I promise, I will be right back," Alec told him ruefully.

Magnus nodded, helping him up, then getting on the bed, taking off his watch. At some point, he had changed into one of Jace's pajamas, which were just the smallest bit too big for him. Alec kissed him softly and walked out.

As soon as the bathroom door shut behind him, he took a shuddering breath and collapsed against the door.

He felt cold and clammy all over, and the lingering tendrils of the nightmare flashed in his mind. He squeezed his eyes, feeling the last few tears creep out. He took a deep breath and pressed his eyes into his knees, curling over until it hurt.

There was a knock on the door. Alec startled upright.

"You alright in there, Alec? It's been half an hour..."

"Magnus. Yeah, I'm... I'm... Just, uh, give me a minute; I'll be right out."

He quickly splashed water on his face, avoiding the mirror after a glance of his reddened eyes.

Sheepishly, he walked out, quietly shutting the door behind him. Magnus waited outside, leaning against the wall, his eyes on the ceiling.

"You know, I never really thought about you."

Alec stopped. "What do you mean?"

Magnus pushed himself off the wall and stepped forward, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I always thought you'd always be there. Never thought you'd leave like that. I didn't understand why you hated your parents, though it's pretty clear now; I wasn't very invested in your past, because you know I had one too. Though nowhere was it anything like yours," Magnus smiled sadly. Alec placed his hand on Magnus', unsure of what to say.

"Now I'm learning things about you I'm not sure I want to know. I'm scared of what I'll find on the next page. Because all this was real. It happened. To you. And I'm not sure how to feel about that. Jace should really have sent those books to me earlier. I'd have some time to process them," Magnus sighed and pulled away from Alec. "Come on, you must be hungry. The last thing you ate was my cereal."

"Are you still mad about that?" Alec asks, grateful to have words in his mouth, though his voice is rough. He winces at the sound.

Magnus laughs, but the sound is hollow. "No, Alec," he says. "You can eat my cereal whenever you want."

"Is that some sort of innuendo?" Alec asks, following Magnus into Jace's kitchen.

"No."

"Come on, I've been dry the last two years, Magnus," Alec said ruefully.

Magnus stopped pulling out fruits and turned to stare at Alec. "Seriously?"

Alec shrugged. "Woulda felt like I was cheating on you. 'Sides, you didn't see anyone either."

Magnus didn't question his information, simply going back to raiding the fridge. "I was mourning."

They were quiet while Alec ate.

"Listen, Magnus..." Alec started, uncomfortably. Magnus looked up from his detailed examination of Alec's hands. "I need to tell you something."

"Go ahead," Magnus said, pulling away. Alec grabbed his hand and put down the pack of Pringles.

"The sixth book. Uh..."

"Is it something worse than your brother?"

Alec was silent. He knew this wasn't about Jace.

"No," he said finally, "but it's probably something I should talk to you about. Not force you to read."

"You aren't forcing me to-"

"Magnus, I'm a widower."

That cuts off Magnus' words, and Alec searches his face quietly.

"You were married?" Magnus asks finally.

Alec exhales. "It wasn't for love, I can tell you that much. But he was a good man, and... I miss him. I miss him a lot."

Magnus' face softened. "Is that why you said no when I asked you to marry me?"

"Holy shit, Magnus, you proposed?"

Both of them turned to stare at Jace, who was standing in the doorway.

"Alright, sorry, I'll go," he said, backing off. "But Alec, you shoulda said yes, man."

"I would have," Alec said, turning back to Magnus. "But I didn't feel like you should get into my life without knowing everything. Because once you get in, there's no out."

Magnus stared at Alec, then got up and locked the door. He walked up to Alec, kissed his forehead. Alec took a shuddering breath.

Then Magnus got down on one knee, pulling out a small chain from under Jace's pyjama shirt. Alec gave a choked sob at the sight of the ring on the end.

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Magnus," Alec said, hiding his face in his hands. "I want to. I want to so much."

"Then just say yes, Alexander. It's just one word. Please."

"Oh god. Yes, Magnus, a thousand times yes. But promise me you won't change your mind after you're done reading," Alec said, cupping Magnus' face with one hand. Magnus silently pushed the ring onto Alec's finger, then got up and kissed him.

"You're not getting rid of me that easily," Magnus breathed, then kissed him again. Alec pulled him onto his lap, and they kissed for awhile.

"Guys, you know it's unsanitary to get it on in there, right?" Jace's voice floated through the door.

"Shut up, Jace," both of them said simultaneously, then grinned through their tears.

Neither of them were ready. But most times, you don't need to be ready.

They took the leap.

**Author's Note:**

> listen please don't be mad  
> 1) it's a funny prompt but I somehow turned it angsty??? i don't even know how to angst???  
> 2)look ik i could be updating my wips instead but let me and my bad decisions be  
> 3)i mean they probs get married so idk if you need a happier ending. let me know and I'll give you one in April (this was a procrastination story and I should be studying)
> 
> 4) the letter. y'all probs want to know what's in the letter. here's what the writer has to say:  
> •nothing  
> like seriously. i couldn't think of anything. tags say mafia au, so like make up your own, angsty backstory. tell me what you think in the comments. doctor doofeinshmirtz would be proud.
> 
>  
> 
> 5)i love y'all so much. like I'm a writer and i still can't find the words
> 
> 6)i??? almost??? have??? 10000 hits??? on [enshs](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10037603/chapters/22370975)???????? thanks so much guys. means a lot. my mates are asking me to treat them. if you haven't read it, you're up for a treat. it's linked there. best of luck. 
> 
> 7) idk i have nothing left to say. peace out


End file.
